Smell my hand....

Leave it to my kids to come up with the most disgusting thing they can think of that I always end up being the smeller, taste tester, and wiper of things that should just not be in my job description.

I get my three year old out of the bath tub the other night, and I wrap him in his towel. Then he goes into his sister's room to wait for me to get his clothes. I am dressing him in his sister's room because they have to share a dresser. Any who, he is sitting there with this look on his face as I am pulling out his pajamas. He has his towel on still, but then I notice that one hand is missing under the towel. HMMMMMM.......... " What are you doing honey?" I asked for it! " Smell my hand mom." Okay, you just know that this is not going to be a good thing. He had stuck his fingers in his bum crack and wanted me to smell.
Delicious I know. Yes they stunk like butt, and I had to go wash his hands!!!! EWWWWWW! I am just so excited for the next thing I have to smell or not smell.......

School shopping

Mommy's blog star date number 6782 rounded to the nearest decimal point.
Aw, yes it's that fun time of summer when you realize that all good things must come to an end. It's time to drag your hoodlums to the store for a fun day of fighting,and crying over having to go to one more store. I love it! We get to the store and I pick out pants for my five year old who is going to be starting kindergarten this year. I take him to the dressing room to see what size will fit him best. He looks in the mirror then at me, back in the mirror and asks," mom do these pants make my butt look big?" SERIOUSLY! Your five. I had to reassure him with every pair he tried on that his behind looked awesome! I thought that this was something that only girls worried about........

Family Reunion

We went camping recently for a family reunion. My kids are so not shy when it comes to announcing their bodily functions in front of people. (I did not teach them this.)
We are at a lake there enjoying swimming, and riding in the canoes, when my five year old comes running out of the water. My first thought is, "oh no, don't say it, don't say it!" Too late..... here it comes. "MOOOOOOM! I have to POOP!" NICE! I know. Every one starts laughing. I am high tailing it with him in tow to find a nice number two area. On our journey to homemade potty glory he decides he doesn't have to go anymore. You gotta be kidding me!

Bathroom humor

We are driving home from a party at my sister in laws house, and I make the mistake of making it known that I have a potty emergency and to please drive faster. You can't tell me that this has never happened to you. Back to my story. SO my seven year old takes this opportunity to share with us all the potty terms he has learned in the last few months. "Mom do you have some business to do at the Oval office?" " Do you need to Johnny on the spot?" "Are you going to go drop some kids off at the pool?" Okay, I have to admit that I laughed until I literally was going to pee. I had to make him stop talking potty talk. Not funny when you gotta go!

What movie are you going to?

My husband and I are getting ready to go out for a Father's day dinner and a movie. On the way to the baby sitter's house my five year old asks me what movie we are going to go see. I tell him that we haven't decided yet. He gets this look on his face and then tells me," If you go to a chick flick, then dad is going to throw up!" Apparently girl movies bring on vomiting in this house hold.....

Bonding with grandpa.....

Mommy log star date number 00254 rounded to the nearest decimal point. It is a rainy Saturday, and my husband is making caramel pop corn. He decides to take some to his folks house. My seven year old goes with him. They are gone for quite a while.
I am doing the dishes when they walk in. My seven year old comes running up to me and begins to tell me his happenings at grandpa's house. "Mom it was so funny! " he says. "Grandpa asked if I would help him shave his back hair off." You can only imagine the look on my face as he is telling me this! Oh, my seven year old thought it was so cool to watch the clump of hair fall off as he buzzed over it with the clippers.... At this point I can't decide if I should be grossed out or peeing my pants at listening to him tell me this! Needless to say he has officially bonded with grandpa more then a seven year old should..... Right? LOL!

I'm grounded

MY five year old comes in the house the other day and has a frown on his face. I ask him what is the matter? He looks at me over the top of his glasses with those pouty blue eyes and says" Mom I have to tell you something. I was out side playing, and I told my big dump truck a bad word. I told it to shut up!" Remember he talks with a lisp. I was surprised on this next part. He goes on to say before I could say anything back, " I think that I am grounded now." He walks into his room, climbs up the ladder into his bed, and lays there for quite a while. Did I mention that he is very dramatic about everything? It boils down to this. He was playing with his cousin who is a girl and was tired of playing with her. So he yelled at his toy truck, and grounded him self so he wouldn't have to play with her any more. I know, I know.