I don't want my hair cut!

I asked my sister to cut my boy's hair because I nicked their ears the last time I cut their hair so they won't let me anywhere near them with the clippers! I don't blame them.
My 4 year old went first and he was telling his aunt how good she was at cutting his hair, but not my mom she cut my ear. Nice! Well if they wouldn't move then we would never of had that little problem! Any who, it's my 6 year olds turn and he is no where to be found. Great I have scarred him for life! I call out for him to come get his hair cut and he yells back,"No way! I am never getting my hair cut again! " I was reassuring him that I would not be touching his hair. He was not going for it. So then I use the Santa is watching you trick! I know I am clever. I told him that he wouldn't be earning any gold stars from Santa if he didn't get his hair cut.

He finally comes into the kitchen and tells me "I heard Santa praying to Jesus that I wouldn't be scared to get my hair cut, and I am not scared anymore." I know that Santa is such a good ole' boy!

Grocery shopping with the elves watching....

I had to take my two younger boys to the store with me the other day. I would rather have all my teeth pulled then have to take them, but in this case I didn't have a babysitter so I was on my own to brave the isles of the local grocery store with three kids. Ages 6, 4, and 17 months. Before we ever arrived to our destination the boys had started to bug each other in the car, and my nerves and patience were already out the window by the time we got to the store!

So we get to the parking lot and I turn the car off, look back at the boys who are now having a smacking war. Hurray for me! I love that I have Christmas to hold this over their heads right now. "Boys, did you know that Santa's elves will be hiding in all the shelves in the store watching to see what you do?" They both looked at me then at each other the fighting stopped immediately. I went on to say, " if I were you I would be really good the whole time we are shopping or the elves that hide and spy on you will tell Santa what you did!"

Did I mention that I love this time of year? You have never see two boys be as good as they were the entire shopping trip!
I love you Santa's little helpers!

Veteran's Day

My six year old comes home from school on Wed and tells me that he needs to thank his grandpa's that fought in the wars.
I sadly had to inform him that all his great grandpa's that fought in the wars have died. He got this look on his face like WTH?
He goes on to say, " What? Guess I will have to wait until I die to tell them." Nothing is less then dramatic with my little kindergartner. I told him that he has to be an old man when that happens.

Costume Heaven!

My six year old decided that he was going to use his birthday money to buy him a Mario costume for Halloween this year.
We go to our friendly Wal-mart to purchase his ultimate dream costume. They are sold out of his size and of course this translates in to the end of the world as we know it!

I tell him to calm down we will go home and order it on the Internet. So I have single handily saved the world from a meltdown of the century.... your welcome! Five days later it FINALLY arrives. I was in the bathtub when I heard all this excitement in the family room, followed by the sounds of three voices at the bathroom door informing me unanimously that the costume was just dropped off by a guy in a brown van that dropped the package and left. Just in case you wanted the play by play. Sweet niblits!

For the past 2 days he has worn it non stop I had to convince him that he could not wear it to go get his flu shot, but he did wear the hat! Needless to say he is in his happy place with his new found love (for this month anyway), MARIO!

New Baby!

We have just recently found out that we are expecting our fifth child! My husband and I apparently can't wash our underwear together! Aw, yes pretty soon it will be heart burn, gas, stretch marks, and out of breath from walking up the stairs! I can hardly wait! Tee Hee!

We told our kids last week that they were getting a new sibling arriving next April! They were so elated! My eight year old is still trying to wrap his head around the fact that it takes nine months to grow a baby... apparently he slept through his little sisters pregnancy. Who,by the way is 14 months old. I know I am nuts! Any who, my five year old is into the Mario Brothers Wii this month who knows what will be his (thing) next month. Well he looked at me and asked," If the baby is a boy can we name him Mario?"
Fat chance of that happening. Then he says." Well if it is twins how about Mario and Luigi?" Sorry buddy boy, but that just ain't happenin'!

Can I have an arrow on my head?

My five year old is into Avatar the Last Air bender right now. He asks me everyday if I will shave an arrow on the top of his head and have the rest of his head be bald. My answer every time.... NO! So last night I am helping him with his homework book from school, and it asks him to look at pictures of himself as a baby and recent photos. Then point out things that are different.

First thing he notices about his baby picture is that he is bald. Then he says," Look how bald I am in my baby picture!" " You should have put an arrow on my head then mom! "

Want to hear a funny story?

We are eating dinner last night and my four year old was in a rather chipper mood. Considering that he has decided naps are no longer part of his life. So he has moved onto whining, and crying over everything until it's bedtime. I love it! It makes me sooooo happy! If you believe that then you you'll also believe that pigs fly, and chickens have lips!

Any who, last night he actually made it through dinner with out crying over something. He was eating his dinner, and with a mouth full of food he looked at his dad and said;" do you want to hear a funny story?" " Knock, knock a little boy farted! " Then he goes onto laugh his head off. Well I guess that it's better then listening to him whine..........

Clint's chocolate cake

For those of you that LOVE chocolate cake as much as I do! Here is a recipe that my husband came up with and it is divine!

Clint's Chocolate cake

1 3/4 cup flour
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup cocoa
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp. Salt

Combine dry ingredients. Then add:
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup oil
2 tsp. vanilla
1 cup boiling water (add this at the end)
Add the boiling water after you beat the milk, eggs, oil vanilla with the dry ingredients.
The batter will be thin.

bake at 350 degrees for 30- 35 minutes

Emily's frosting

half a bag of powdered sugar
1 cup shortening
1/2 cup cocoa
1/4 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla

I like to taste it as I make it to see how much cocoa I want in it. You can add as much or as little milk that you want depending on how you like your frosting. Thick or thin.

Smell my hand....

Leave it to my kids to come up with the most disgusting thing they can think of that I always end up being the smeller, taste tester, and wiper of things that should just not be in my job description.

I get my three year old out of the bath tub the other night, and I wrap him in his towel. Then he goes into his sister's room to wait for me to get his clothes. I am dressing him in his sister's room because they have to share a dresser. Any who, he is sitting there with this look on his face as I am pulling out his pajamas. He has his towel on still, but then I notice that one hand is missing under the towel. HMMMMMM.......... " What are you doing honey?" I asked for it! " Smell my hand mom." Okay, you just know that this is not going to be a good thing. He had stuck his fingers in his bum crack and wanted me to smell.
Delicious I know. Yes they stunk like butt, and I had to go wash his hands!!!! EWWWWWW! I am just so excited for the next thing I have to smell or not smell.......

School shopping

Mommy's blog star date number 6782 rounded to the nearest decimal point.
Aw, yes it's that fun time of summer when you realize that all good things must come to an end. It's time to drag your hoodlums to the store for a fun day of fighting,and crying over having to go to one more store. I love it! We get to the store and I pick out pants for my five year old who is going to be starting kindergarten this year. I take him to the dressing room to see what size will fit him best. He looks in the mirror then at me, back in the mirror and asks," mom do these pants make my butt look big?" SERIOUSLY! Your five. I had to reassure him with every pair he tried on that his behind looked awesome! I thought that this was something that only girls worried about........

Family Reunion

We went camping recently for a family reunion. My kids are so not shy when it comes to announcing their bodily functions in front of people. (I did not teach them this.)
We are at a lake there enjoying swimming, and riding in the canoes, when my five year old comes running out of the water. My first thought is, "oh no, don't say it, don't say it!" Too late..... here it comes. "MOOOOOOM! I have to POOP!" NICE! I know. Every one starts laughing. I am high tailing it with him in tow to find a nice number two area. On our journey to homemade potty glory he decides he doesn't have to go anymore. You gotta be kidding me!

Bathroom humor

We are driving home from a party at my sister in laws house, and I make the mistake of making it known that I have a potty emergency and to please drive faster. You can't tell me that this has never happened to you. Back to my story. SO my seven year old takes this opportunity to share with us all the potty terms he has learned in the last few months. "Mom do you have some business to do at the Oval office?" " Do you need to Johnny on the spot?" "Are you going to go drop some kids off at the pool?" Okay, I have to admit that I laughed until I literally was going to pee. I had to make him stop talking potty talk. Not funny when you gotta go!

What movie are you going to?

My husband and I are getting ready to go out for a Father's day dinner and a movie. On the way to the baby sitter's house my five year old asks me what movie we are going to go see. I tell him that we haven't decided yet. He gets this look on his face and then tells me," If you go to a chick flick, then dad is going to throw up!" Apparently girl movies bring on vomiting in this house hold.....

Bonding with grandpa.....

Mommy log star date number 00254 rounded to the nearest decimal point. It is a rainy Saturday, and my husband is making caramel pop corn. He decides to take some to his folks house. My seven year old goes with him. They are gone for quite a while.
I am doing the dishes when they walk in. My seven year old comes running up to me and begins to tell me his happenings at grandpa's house. "Mom it was so funny! " he says. "Grandpa asked if I would help him shave his back hair off." You can only imagine the look on my face as he is telling me this! Oh, my seven year old thought it was so cool to watch the clump of hair fall off as he buzzed over it with the clippers.... At this point I can't decide if I should be grossed out or peeing my pants at listening to him tell me this! Needless to say he has officially bonded with grandpa more then a seven year old should..... Right? LOL!

I'm grounded

MY five year old comes in the house the other day and has a frown on his face. I ask him what is the matter? He looks at me over the top of his glasses with those pouty blue eyes and says" Mom I have to tell you something. I was out side playing, and I told my big dump truck a bad word. I told it to shut up!" Remember he talks with a lisp. I was surprised on this next part. He goes on to say before I could say anything back, " I think that I am grounded now." He walks into his room, climbs up the ladder into his bed, and lays there for quite a while. Did I mention that he is very dramatic about everything? It boils down to this. He was playing with his cousin who is a girl and was tired of playing with her. So he yelled at his toy truck, and grounded him self so he wouldn't have to play with her any more. I know, I know.

It's pronounced tattoo.......

My seven year old got a tattoo in his halloween bag. Being a kid he had to put it on right away!
He came strutting in to the kitchen to show me and my five year old yells," cool I want a tit tat toe too!"
I laughed so hard that if I would have had milk in my mouth it would have shot out my nose!

Who's your daddy?

We are driving home from church, and my kids are talking to each other about what it would be like to have two dads.
My five year old tells my seven year old that it would be cool. My seven year old says, " no it wouldn't because then you would have two dads yelling at you to get your chores done." My five year old gets this look on his face and tells him, " your right because we already have two bosses at our house, we don't need three." I am glad to see they refer to their parents as the boss.

Since your being a nice mom.......

I went to Park City, Utah over the weekend with my husband for our anniversary. My kids stayed with my sister. We got home in the evening, and the kids were tired. We get home, and I do my usual kiss and hug them because I missed them. I ask them what they did blah, blah blah...... my five year old informs me that I am a "really nice" mom after a vacation. Thanks I guess. Then I am tucking them into bed and he says, "mom since you are in a be nice mood right now, can you tell us a story?" Apparently I am a mean nasty mom on all other days. I must need to take a weekend getaway every week.

Today we are driving home from his preschool graduation practice, and he decides that he needs to remind me of the time that I locked his baby sister in the car. He said, " I think you lost your mind that day mom." Oh thank heavens that our kids remind us of our moments of idiocy! I don't know about you, but I have a lot of those days.

Daughter of a King By: Jenny Phillips

He'll Carry You by Hillary Weeks

911

Our story begins with me in the shower, and my boys out in the kitchen playing a game on the computer or so I thought........
My seven year old runs into the bathroom to tell me that his five year old brother had the phone and is pretending that he is calling 911. I told him to tell his brother that it is not okay to do that, and to bring me the phone. So I finish up my shower, get dressed, and start to head down the hall to check on the boys in the kitchen. All of the sudden I hear ding dong. I open the door to two police officers asking me if everything is okay? You know when you are so mad and embarrassed at the same time that you see red? Good Times! I had them lecture my five year old on why it is not a good idea to pretend call 911. It scared him so bad that he never touched the phone because he is afraid the cops will come back. Thank goodness that they came after I got out of the shower!

I hate birds!

Mommy blog, star date number 624 rounded to the nearest decimal point...... Thanks to the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, my five year old is now deathly afraid of birds. He informed me that he could not eat chicken again because it was made from dead a dead bird. Oh boy! You know that part where Dave's cousin tells Theodore that a eagle could swoop down, and eat him? Yeah, that would be the day my five year old decided he hates all birds. So now he asks me all the time what stuff is made out of before he will eat it. I got him an ice cream after preschool the other day, and he asked me what the cone was made from. Okay I am not a mean mom, but after the billionth time of hearing "what is this made from?" I told him that the cone was made from chicken guts! LOL! He threw the cone on the car floor with ice cream in it..... serves me right. Not only did I lie to him, but now I have a mess to clean up as well!

Then there was the day we had to take my three year old to a check up at the doctors. My five year old would not get out of the car because there was a bird sitting on the light pole right by the car. I had to make a lot of noise, and slam the car doors to get the bird to fly away so he would get out. Joys!

That's okay....

Today we are all loading into the car to go to my oldest son's baseball practice. My three year old is begging me to sit in the front seat. I told him, "Sorry honey it's not safe for you to sit in the front, because if we get in an accident you would get hurt, or even die." He looks at me over the top of his glasses and says,"that's okay, I want to sit in the front pleeeeease! " What part of you could die is okay?

Just wingin' it!

We took our kids to Winger's in the mall about 2 months ago. We are sitting there coloring on the little kid menu's, and eating the popcorn that they give you as you wait for your meal. Everything was going great! Then all of the sudden my three year old gagged on some pop corn . I grabbed him because when he gags it always ends with a bang! I pick him up so he is facing me, I go to take off for the bathroom he pukes all down the front of me, and I hand him to his dad who proceeds to run for the bathroom leaving a nice trail behind them. To top it off there was a family in the booth behind us, and one to the side of us admiring the puke trail on the floor. I am too busy wiping the nasty off of me to notice that a guy just walked right threw the mess and slipped, but luckily did not fall! This is why we rarely eat out.

Virus

My kids keep logging onto these free games that have all these little viruses attached with them. My husband and I have now made it so those games are blocked, but they can play the games that we have okayed. Any who, my five year got sick with strep throat last month, and on the way to the doctor he told me," Mom I am not gonna play the computer anymore because it gave me a virusss!" I love this kid!

Discovering that girls are different....

Now that we have a baby girl in the house my younger boys are starting to ask questions. One night I had the baby in the bathtub, and in walks my five year old. He is just sitting next to me looking at her and he gets that look on his face that he is just a thinkin' on something. Oh, no here it comes. "Mom sisssy hassss boobiessss." I am trying not to laugh and I say, "Yes she does, but let's call them rose buds." I am sorry, but I am not going to have my five year old walking around telling some stranger that his baby sister has boobies. Any who, he goes, "okay I won't say that any more." So he moves up to the toilet and sits on the seat with that same look on his face. So I just continue bathing the baby. All of the sudden he yelps out, "BOOBSSS!" I lost it I fell over the bathtub laughing my head off! He has never said any more about it after his little out burst. Maybe he just needed to say it out loud to get it out of his system. Go figure.

Oh my!

We were getting the kids ready for bed, and I couldn't find my three year old. I go out into the hallway to call his name, and I found him standing in the hallway with this look on his face. He tells me,"look what I found!" He is waving an open tampon back and forth with a grin form ear to ear like he has found this great treasure. I just say, "oh, look at that you've been into mommy's bathroom cupboard." " I keep it?" I just laugh and take it from him, and tell him that this is only for girls, but thank you for bringing it to me.

This also reminds me of the time last year when my five year old came into the family room with one of my panty liners stuck to his forehead. i asked him why he had a pad on his head and he told me in his lisp language, "I needed a band aid, and we don't have any sssso I used thisssss to make my head to feel better."

Drama king

Last year my five year old played his first season of T-ball. He liked it unless something didn't go his way. He is up to bat, and he gets upset because he didn't hit the ball far enough to the out field. I told him he was doing a great job, and to keep trying. Then his coach has him try being the catcher. He was doing good until the ball smacked him in the leg. He starts crying and yells," I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Runs off the field! Not to me, just kept running to destination unknown. So let's hope that this year is less dramatic! I also hope that this year the helmets are bigger, because his head is huge for a five year old. The helmets they tried to squeeze him into last year barley sat on his rather large noggin. What can I say he must have a big brain.

Let's Race

Mommy log star date number 449 rounded to the nearest decimal point....... Okay, today I learned a valuable lesson. Never have your son a race down the drive way in your pajamas with out a bra on.(I know you wanted to have that visual of me) Plus I was bringing in the garbage can so I was running and pulling it with me down the driveway.
By the way, my drive way is like two hundred feet from my house no lie. Any who, my son yells,"race you mom!" I yell, "go!" with out thinking I bolt down the drive way and I am laughing and yelling, " I'm gonna win!" Well we get to the garage doors, and I am rubbing it into my seven year old's face that I won! He just starts laughing and proceeds to give me a play by play of what my body looked like as I was running. "Your stomach was going bong, bong, jiggle, jiggle." I think that this has been the only time in my life that I wanted to flip a child off! Needless to say this chub butt won! :):):):)

Not at the dinner table.

My favorite part of the day is sitting around the dinner table and talking about the days events. Well on this particular night, my oldest decides he needs to announce that he had the most awesome bowel movement earlier that day at school. It looked like a snake with two heads! GROCE! That is a picture in my head I could of done with out. Of course his dad laughs while I am telling him that it is not a very polite thing to talk about especially at the dinner table! I will die a happy mommy if I can pass manners 101 with my kids.

My three year old has had the nick name 'chipmunk,' from the time he was introduced to baby food. He stores his food in his cheeks. I would go to put him to bed for the night, and he would still have dinner in his mouth. He will stuff his mouth until he can't talk, and then hold it there for some unknown reason. Then he will either spit it all over his plate or just hold it in his mouth. You would think that he would out grow this by now,but oh, no not him. The other day at dinner I looked up at him, and his cheeks are stuffed. I told him to spit some of it out so he could chew and swallow. He just looked at me and smiled with a mouth full of potatoes and green beans. You can only imagine what that looks like! Then he grabs his cup of milk and spits it all into his cup! What the what? Really I have not raised them in a barn! (We do live next to a barn however!) LOL!

Hey there chubby.......

So leave it to your kids to point out the obvious. Shortly after having baby number four my oldest boy is talking to me and I lean over to give him a hug and he pats my stomach and says;" hey there chubby, chubby." Nice. Then my five year old was getting his hair combed for school and my baby is two months old by now. He looks at me over his glasses, and with his lisp tells me that I still look pregnant. Was I sure that they got all the babies out? Love it. Just so you know baby girl weighed nine pounds and was twenty one inches long. She was our biggest baby. My body payed for it dearly! She was sooooo worth it how ever!

Then there are the times when your kids pick the wrong time to tell you a description of some one they saw.
When my oldest was four we were in the grocery store, and he saw a man that had what he called, "a really big root beer belly."
The man was standing right behind us in the checkout so you know he could hear him! When have you ever known a four year old to talk with his inside voice?


At our house we love to watch movies! My kids and I can memorize every line even if we have only seen it one time. So we like to give a play by play of all the funny parts to all of our extended family members especially at family functions. All of our families do this when one of them have seen a funny movie. Any who, our favorite one to watch together is Nacho Libre. We love it when Nacho is wearing his stretchy pants just for fun! Well we were headed into Walmart, and this very heavy set lady comes walking out in neon pink stretchy pants, and a tank top. I could already see the wheels a turning in my kid's faces. So before they could say anything..... I said" Sometimes you wear stretchy pants just for fun!" Thank goodness she could not hear me because my kids could not stop laughing! Oh the things you see at Walmart. :)

Underwear

My five year old just informed me that he has a secret for me. Not a secret for my ear though. He told me that he is wearing three pairs of underwear. When I asked him why? He told me, "because it feels good." I was wondering why his pants looked snug. LOL!

Oh the joys of potty training!

I bet that this has happened to any one who has a toddler.  I dread going to the grocery store any ways, and when I have all my kids with me.... let's just say I am ready for a good stiff drink by the time we make it through.  On this particular outing I was in the process of potty training my three year old, and yes I waited until he was three to start him.  Any who,  we are in the store and taking a potty trainer out in public you are just asking for it.  We are walking down the isle and I ask him if he needs to go.  He looks at me through the top of his glasses, by the way he also wears glasses. He looks like the little boy in Jerry Maguire however you spell that .  He says," no mommy." "Are you sure?" , "YES DUH!"   So I continue on my journey of wrapping the isle's of insanity. Have you ever been to Walmart on a  Saturday morning? YIKES!   All of the sudden he yells with about a billion people around, " I have to poop!" then he proceeds to hold his bum.  I am thinking  ,"OH CRAP! " My cart is filled to the brim I can barley push it fast enough to get to the bathroom, and he is yelling it the whole way there.   Nice.   We did make with only a tiny pee spot on his jeans.

Do you know what would be cool?

So my five year old and I were driving to pick up his cousin to come play at our house.
Well I look in the rear view mirror and I could see that the wheels were just a turnin' in his little mind. Then he says,"Mom, do you know what would be so cool?" He has a lisp, and wears glasses so when he tells you something it's just even more that funny. Any who, he goes on to say," I think that when you have another baby I hope that it's a boy, and that he looks like Jesus, and has long hair with a beard, and a green light saber." Mind you, everything that is revolved in his world is Star Wars.

Also a note about my five year old. He packs his back pack at least three times a day to run away. In fact as sure as I am sitting here blogging this he is outside on the front porch with his back pack. He knows he can't go on the road and so he ususally goes through the hay field to his aunts house. Who ever said that girls are more dramatic then boys has never met my five year old.

Our day is never fulfilled unless one of the boys has thrown up. My seven year old has the most sensitive gag you have ever seen. If his sister is stinky and he get's a whiff..... Yep, he will throw up. I feel sorry for his future wife. He gags if any thing has a weird texture feel on his tongue. If he starts to think about anything that will gross him out. I have to spend the next ten minutes talking him out of an episode with Ralph on the big white telephone. The best is when we are at family parties and it happens.
Example. We are at my in laws for Easter this year, and my seven year old is out side playing when all of the sudden he comes barreling in the house with the look of GET THE HECK OUT OF MY WAY! He yells, "I am going to throw up! " That 's great as everyone is sitting around eating Easter dinner. My sister asked him if he was sick and he said,"no I just saw a rotten orange out side, so I picked it up and threw it in grandma's basket ball hoop then it exploded and all this black stuff came out!" First of all YUCK! Second of all why throw a rotten orange in the basket ball hoop? SERIOUSLY!

Then let's not forget the time in church when I was sitting up at podium waiting to give a talk, and my husband comes in late with all the kids. Well the five year old and the three year old are fighting, and my husband is holding the baby so he can't referee very well so he just leads them to the nearest seats just in time for my three year old to yell out to the quiet congregation, "I hate you butt head!" I was looking around like I had no idea who he belonged too.